


A Mechanical Device

by carsinoska



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-24
Updated: 2016-05-24
Packaged: 2018-06-10 11:27:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6954646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carsinoska/pseuds/carsinoska
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Though Z-one's work really is flawless, there's still something missing, like living in a body that's not really yours.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Mechanical Device

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I'm actually very curious to know the reason why you're reading this, in the "I want to know why you like apopara" way. I'd really appreciate it if you could tell me one way or another (by commenting, messaging me on tumblr, or anything!). I'm really dying to know!!!
> 
> As for why Aporia hasn't been split into the Three Emperors, well, Z-one wants to make sure that this combined form works as well.
> 
> The title is from "Kikaijikake no Uta" by Absolute Castaway.  
> 

He really did it. Z-one really went through with his promise and brought them back to life. Well, in a manner of speaking. Paradox didn’t notice at first, too busy marveling his newfound youth, but he discovered that his body was not really his own. It was a robot copy in which Z-one had implanted his memories. Of which was perfectly fine with him, or so he thought.

Old age had dulled his senses, so it was somewhat of a miracle that Paradox no longer needed glasses in his new body. Having such clear vision was refreshing. Yet, at the same time, it felt as though he were experiencing everything through a filter. It was a bizarre and contradicting experience.

He learned that he no longer needed to eat, nor did he need to sleep. It was a constant reminder of the unnaturalness of his body. He wasn’t really human anymore. It was a trivial matter, something that shouldn’t have distracted him as much as it did. There were more important things to worry about, like finally saving the future. Still, the thoughts plagued him.

He couldn’t talk to Z-one about it. Paradox didn’t want to seem inconsiderate. Z-one had done as he had promised, after all, and had enough to worry about without having to accommodate to Paradox’s whims. Not to mention the fact that Z-one’s attitude towards him seemed to have taken a swift change. Unfortunately, the other had a tendency to ignore him nowadays.

He considered talking to Antinomy about it, but he didn’t think it would help much. Antinomy would understand in theory, but he wouldn’t truly understand. Unlike Paradox, Antinomy’s new body was more or less biological. Z-one had constructed them with a specific purpose in mind for each, after all. Antinomy was supposed to lose most of his memories for his mission, and he especially needed to forget the fact that he was not entirely human, or at least not any longer. It was harder to create a body with such complex functions, so of course Z-one would lighten his workload by only granting one such body to Antinomy.

By process of elimination, that left only Aporia to talk to. However, Paradox couldn’t say he was particularly close to the other man. He would better describe their relationship as mere acquaintances. Paradox didn’t feel comfortable discussing the matter with Aporia either, at any rate. But the more he tried to ignore the strange feeling of his mechanical body, the worse it got. He tried busying his mind with work and research, but eventually he couldn’t focus on even that.

Tired and weary, Paradox left his room, hoping that a nice cup of coffee would help. No, he knew it wouldn’t really do any good, but it wasn’t as though he could accomplish anything with his current state of mind.

“Oof.” 

He must have collided into something while he wasn’t paying attention. Paradox looked up to see what it was.

It was large and white and. Of course he would bump into Aporia on the way to the kitchen. Of course. 

“Sorry about that,” Aporia said, reaching his hand out to Paradox. Paradox took his hand.

“No, it was my fault. I wasn’t paying attention,” Paradox replied.

“I can’t say that I’m not at fault as well. This new body… is hard to get used to.”

Ah, so Aporia was also uncomfortable in his new body. Though perhaps his discomfort was more justified than Paradox’s; Aporia barely seemed to resemble his younger self at all. 

Paradox smiled. “That makes two of us, then.”

Aporia returned the sentiment with a wry smile of his own. “It’s hard, isn’t it,” he said.

“Yes, it really is.” He looked up to meet Aporia’s eyes. “And I...” he trailed off. No, even then, he couldn’t bring himself to talk about his feelings in depth.

But Aporia seemed to understand. He waited patiently for Paradox to continue. When it didn’t seem as though he would say anything, Aporia let the matter go, and they went their separate ways.

The brief exchange that Paradox had with Aporia did help to ease his mind slightly. He quickly fixed himself a cup of coffee and returned to his room.

* * *

Paradox spent the next few days avoiding Aporia. It wasn’t as though he didn’t want to see him, but rather it was that maybe he wanted to see him a little too much. The feeling was mortifyingly embarrassing, so he tried to ignore it.

He couldn’t avoid him forever though. Aporia knocked on his door a few days later. Paradox, concentrated on his work, was rattled. He wasn’t prepared for a confrontation and panicked, nearly knocking over his cup of cold coffee.

“Paradox, I was just wondering if…”

“I’m... I’m busy right now. Could you come back later?”

“I was just wondering if you were feeling all right. You’ve barely been out of your room these past few days, and now you’re saying excuses. I’m sure that there’s something bothering you.”

When Aporia said things so openly like that, Paradox couldn’t help but feel embarrassed. Not only had he seen right through him, but he was displaying a sort of concern that made his heart clench. Not knowing what to say in return, Paradox remained silent. Hopefully, if he ignored him long enough, Aporia would give up and leave.

He heard Aporia shuffle uncomfortably outside the door. So he hadn’t left yet? Paradox tried to ignore him and go back to his work but really, what could he get done when Aporia couldn’t keep still? Annoyed, Paradox opened the door and asked, “Why are you still here?”

“I was just worried about you.” 

How could he even say that so directly, without hesitation? It was infuriating. To make things worse, Aporia made those damn puppy eyes.

“D-don’t look at me like that,” Paradox said, unnerved.

“Paradox…” Aporia put his hand on the other’s shoulder.

His face felt warm, but that was silly because it wasn’t as if he had any blood. Maybe his Moment core was spinning too quickly.

“Aporia… You’re being ridiculous.”

“We’re friends, aren’t we? You can tell me anything.”

But it wasn’t that simple. They didn’t usually talk to each other like this and Paradox wasn’t used to Aporia’s presence. Opening up to the other, even given their predicament, was uncomfortable.

“Sorry, Aporia. It’s not as simple as that.”

Unlike the last time, Aporia didn’t just let the matter go. This time, he continued to stare down at Paradox. Paradox tried to match his stare but eventually conceded.

Paradox sighed. “Fine. Do what you will, Aporia.”

He left the door open behind him and went back to his desk. Aporia followed him inside hesitantly.

He expected Aporia to prompt him to talk again, but to Paradox’s surprise, he remained silent. At least he understood that much. With that, he went back to work. He could feel Aporia’s gaze on him, which was slightly distracting, but eventually, Aporia also seemed to work on something of his own.

The companionship was nice. The presence of another wasn’t something he was used to, but it was strangely comforting. He found that he could actually focus on his work rather than be distracted by anxieties. They worked in silence, not keeping track of the time. It was hard to remember the time anyways, given the lack of windows in the Ark Cradle.

Paradox stifled a yawn. It must have been contagious, because Aporia yawned shortly after. “It’s been a long day,” Paradox said, “Let’s take a break.”

Aporia agreed, and made his way out of Paradox’s room, but at the doorframe, he turned to face him and looked at Paradox straight in the eyes with that intense stare of his. “Thank you, for letting me in,” Aporia said, and smiled.

Paradox, unable to keep eye contact, mumbled a sound of acknowledgment while staring pointedly at the ground.

When he was sure Aporia was out of sight, Paradox collapsed on his bed, face burning in embarrassment. He really wasn’t used to being around him. It reminded him a little of why he avoided Aporia in the first place. He was just too much, Paradox could tell, with the way he clung to Z-one when they first found him and the way that he sought another’s company. That sort of dependence was suffocating. Paradox would much rather keep the world at a distance.

He wasn’t sure why, but Paradox assumed that the previous day’s encounter would be the end of Aporia’s pestering. But in hindsight, he really shouldn’t have been as surprised as he was to hear a knock at his door. Foolishly assuming the knocking to be Z-one, he automatically invited the other in. But it wasn’t Z-one. And why would it be? Paradox thought. He didn’t care about them anymore.

“Oh. Hello, Aporia.”

“Hello, Paradox,” he said softly. Aporia’s nervous shuffling didn’t help Paradox’s mood.

Paradox sighed. “Why are you here?”

When he didn’t receive an answer, Paradox asked again. Still no answer, he gave up and went back to his desk, leaving the door open for Aporia to come in.

Aporia must have entered at one point, because Paradox heard the faint clanging of metal as he assumed the other sat down at another chair. The chair was usually for Z-one, when they would collaborate on projects, but the possibility of that happening nowadays was so low that he wondered why he hadn’t moved it already. No matter, at least Aporia would be able to occupy himself without being a bother.

Paradox continued typing away at his desk, ignoring Aporia. If he was going to time travel, then he’d need to do it right. He was more or less the guinea pig for their experiment, so he needed to perfect it before the others went about their own missions.

Just like the other day, Aporia didn’t say anything else to him while they worked in silence. It made him wonder just why he came. Not to say that he didn’t appreciate the company, secretly, but it was strange for Aporia to want to associate with him all of a sudden. Of course, he was sure that Aporia felt the same way as he did about their new bodies, but the fact that he would actually go out of his way to spend time with him baffled Paradox. He didn’t complain though, since it really was nice to have someone else by his side.

Realizing how embarrassing his thoughts were, Paradox made a strangled noise and Aporia looked at him with concern. Paradox cleared his throat and pretended that nothing happened. Aporia continued to watch him, but thankfully, decided to go back to his work without saying a word.

Despite the intrusion, it ended up being a productive day. Just a little more, Paradox thought, and he would be able to start his mission. Finally, they would be able to change the future.

Aporia continued to show up at his door just about noon, greeting Paradox with a small smile every time. He found himself looking forward to it. There was something comforting in the simple company of another.

* * *

“Do you ever feel like something’s missing?” Paradox asked, but caught himself. “Sorry, that was rather sudden.”

Aporia shook his head. “No, I’ve been meaning to ask the same thing,” he said. “There’s something strange about living in this body. And not just because of its appearance.”

“That’s exactly it. There’s nothing wrong with its functionality, but it feels so empty,” Paradox said. “It doesn’t bother me so much anymore, but the feeling is still there. Ha ha ha, now that I say it out loud, it’s such a trivial thing, isn’t it.”

“I wouldn’t say it’s trivial. Sharing your troubles like this, especially for you, is an accomplishment in of itself.”

Aporia took Paradox’s hands into his own.

“And see, this warmth? Even though we’re copies, we’re still real.”

Paradox tightened his grip around Aporia’s thumb.

“But in the end, even that is something manufactured by Z-one…”

“Maybe so, but this moment we’re living in is still real.”

Paradox didn’t reply, but let his hands rest in Aporia’s. They sat in a comfortable silence, not quite looking at each other, but not quite looking away either.

“Sorry,” Paradox said, “about this. In the end you ended up comforting me, even though you’re also…”

“But this makes me happy too,” Aporia said with a gentle smile.

“There it is again. Comforting me.”

“I really do-”

“Yes, yes, I get it. Enough of this,” Paradox said, removing his hands from Aporia’s. “I haven’t gotten nearly as much done as I had hoped for today.”

Aporia let out a small laugh. “Always the workaholic, aren’t you.”

* * *

Days passed by like that, until finally, Paradox was done his research. Like he first thought, the best course of action was to eliminate Duel Monsters completely. Simply erasing Synchro monsters wouldn’t be enough to prevent the Machine Emperors from appearing, no, it would only delay the inevitable.

But no matter how much research he did, no matter how many simulations he carried out, there was nothing that could guarantee his success. In fact, he was almost certain that he would fail. Z-one probably thought the same thing. And yet he was the one who gave him this mission. Just another reminder of how disposable he was as a mere robot copy.

It couldn’t be helped. He had already sworn loyalty to Z-one and he would see it out to the end. Still, there were so many things he would leave behind.

At the very least, there was one last thing he could do before he left.

* * *

“Ah, Aporia. There’s something I want to tell you.”

“Hm? What is it?”

Aporia seemed a little surprised, but that was to be expected. It wasn’t usual for Paradox to start a conversation after all.

“That is… Well…” Paradox said, fumbling with his words, “Thank you.”

“That’s an awfully vague thing to say. But you’ve always been like that,” Aporia replied. “If you’re saying something like that, then you must be leaving.”

Paradox smiled half-heartedly. “Yes, that’s right.”

He lifted his hand towards Aporia’s face. His skin was unyieldingly hard but smooth, more like a porcelain doll's than a human's.

“I’ll miss you.”

“And that’s strangely straightforward of you.”

Paradox chuckled. “I’m allowed to say something uncharacteristic once in a while.”

Aporia closed the distance between them. With his large hands, he embraced Paradox.

“I’ll miss you too,” Aporia said.

His hold was so warm. Pressed against the other’s chest like this, Paradox could hear the soft whirring of Aporia’s Moment core.

“It would be nice if we could stay like this forever,” Paradox said wistfully.

Though of course, that would never happen. He shook his head, then untangled himself from Aporia’s arms.

“Goodbye, Aporia.”

Aporia looked at him with sad eyes.

“I hope to see you again soon, Paradox.”

* * *

If there was one feature Paradox wished that Z-one hadn’t implemented so flawlessly, it would be the human heart.

There was no helping it. He forced himself not to look back at the figure of the Ark Cradle and walked towards the setting sun.


End file.
